It's Okay To Not Be Okay

We've all heard, “The first step to recovery is acknowledging there is a problem.” This sounds extremely simple but is one of the most difficult mental mountains to climb.

Imagine setting off for a trek where the first peak is the most exhausting, challenging peak of the entire trip. Would you feel discouraged during this climb? Would you contemplate turning back? Or would you power through to the top? These are much like the options and thoughts we must address in order to seek mental and emotional help. All of the difficulties that block the path of getting help is the troubling incline of the mountain. There will be doubt, it will be hard, but it's okay. The top of the mountain is nearer. When you finally receive help, you will have conquered the trek.

Acknowledging that you have a problem and need help is the first peak in your mental health journey. It is by far the hardest step in the process. Acknowledgement requires an active mental state. It requires you to be in tune with your mind and body. It requires noticing the little things, such as triggers, emotions, and how your body is feeling. Being in an active mental state is difficult but is necessary to start the trek up the first peak.

This first peak of acknowledgement is a process. It isn't a straight shot up the to the top of the mountain. This mountain of mental health has rest areas that can be utilized. For example, you may acknowledge that you have a mental or emotional problem. This might cause you to need a pitstop for months or years. Then you might start your trek again and start talking to family or friends about the issues you’re facing. Now, you might need to take another rest. Finally, you feel energized enough to make it to the top of the peak and make an appointment with a healthcare provider. Once you hit the top, the rest of the trek will be much simpler.

Does this mean there will never be a frustrating time? No.

Does this mean it will be a breeze from the start? No.

Does it mean you are working toward a point of feeling better again? YES!

This mental health journey is not a trek that you must take alone. There are people that will hold your hand and help you through the entire trip. Coming to terms with the fact that you are tired of having mental health problems and seeking help will provide you with a team of professionals, family, and friends whom support you.

I tried to climb the peaks of the mountain multiple times. I dabbled with going to counseling in college, but I never thought my mental health was affecting me “bad enough” to seek help. I had anxiety, but I thought I could handle it myself because: “it’s not that bad”, “everyone has anxiety”, “I’m not randomly crying that often”, “this is a stressful time in my life, so it’ll go away soon.” Believe me, I had every excuse in the book to not seek help. I was stuck on the first incline of the journey and took a long rest. It took me YEARS of knowing I had anxiety before I sought professional help.

Throughout my education, I had professors and mentors encourage me to go to counseling, but I always wrote it off. I always thought other people needed to be seen worse than I did. I din't want to take someones spot who was in dire need of being seen. Especially in a college counseling center that is already overwhelmed. But after a particularly bad anxiety attack, I realized it is not selfish to seek help. My mental health was just as important as everyone else's. I could start putting myself first and it would be okay. Once I did seek help my entire world changed. I was put on anxiety medication and I attended counseling. Soon I felt like my “old self” and was not hindered by constant mental turmoil.

Seeking help is not a fix all. Some days are worse than others. Sometimes I need to schedule a counseling appointment because my life gets crazy and I'm feeling overwhelmed. Self assessment is key in through out your life once you start a mental health journey.

So now I ask: Will you make the trek up that first peak? Even if you have to rest, will you make it to the top? Will you get the help you deserve?

I want you to take a moment and self-reflect and think, “it is okay to take care of me!”, "It's okay to not be okay!"

If you or anyone you know is battling with mental or emotional illness, I encourage you to call your health care provider or a counselor to start the rest of your mental health journey.

Kindly,

Kenzie