In the midst of this global pandemic, I have been looking back on pictures and memories of previous travels to fulfill the adventure bug within me. Some of my favorite adventures were solo. Whether it was a week at Disney World, going out to eat by myself, or taking a day trip by myself; all of these trips have built me into the person I am today.
Society has instilled into us that we should have others with us when we go out in public. We often see pictures of someone eating alone at a sit down restaurant with a caption that has the idea: “They must not have anyone. How sad?” But instead of feeling pity, we should feel empowered by people living their lives doing what they want, when they want!
It took me a while to figure out why people rarely adventure by themselves. But, after discussing adventures with other people I realized people don’t think they can do things by themselves.They lack the confidence to come over the fear that is instilled in us as a society to go on solo adventures. To be honest, I was terrified the first few adventures I did by myself. I was scared what others would think of a 19 year old girl going sightseeing by herself. Fear had me trapped in living a monotonous life and restricted me from things I dreamed of doing. Society had drilled into my brain that all adventures need to be experienced with others. But why? We don’t need someone to accompany us in adventures. We just need to overcome the fear of going against what society has told us is ‘acceptable.’
I decided to start breaking this ‘norm’ when I lived by myself in a town where I knew no one for a summer. I wrote down goals for my personal growth at the beginning of the summer and made plans to achieve them slowly. All of them were doing things by myself. To kick things off I went to a Kip Moore concert by myself. I met some of the nicest people there and we became friends for the night. This was the first instance of meeting interesting strangers on my adventures, but it is sure to not be my last. I have met so many kind people with interesting stories throughout all of my adventures. This is a major pro to solo adventures! You can learn so much by talking to the strangers around you and you have no one with you to act as a security blanket. You have to face fear.
One of the biggest goals I had in my solo adventuring was to eat at a sit down place by myself. This was my biggest fear in breaking societal ‘norm’. It took me 3 years of adventuring solo to truly conquer it. I was always so terrified of what other people would think of me eating by myself. I was so self-conscious people would stare at me and judge me for being by myself. Finally, I came to my senses and realized that other people don’t care what you are doing! They won’t glance twice at you for eating by yourself. Overcoming this solo fear was liberating! I now could truly do whatever I wanted without relying on other people. My self confidence had grown enough to be who I wanted to be and do the things that had previously just been dreams.
So, let’s discuss the main things you need to do to start breaking societal ‘norms’ and go on solo adventures.
- Make a list of things you want to achieve by yourself. Start with the small things that are less terrifying and gradually work up to things that you fear most.
- Bite the bullet and start. This is just an ideology if you don’t take action
- Allow yourself to be open and truly take in the experience. Then reflect on the adventure. Take note of things that still terrify you and things that you conquered. This will enable you to see self growth.
- Don’t stop. Keep doing things by yourself. Repetition will lead to comfort. Comfort will lead to more adventures.
Overcoming fear has led me to experiencing some of the best memories in my life. It has allowed me to see new places, meet new people, and thrive in my life. Solo adventuring is one of the most freeing things you can do in your life. It will be uncomfortable, but facing your fears and going outside your comfort zone will make you grow! It will enable you to learn more about yourself and build confidence in who you are as a human. I will leave you with the wise words of my favorite youtube channel, Yes Theory, “Seek Discomfort.”
Kindly,
Kenzie
Disclaimer: I am encouraging you to go and experience things by yourself, but remember safety. Let multiple people know where you are going, send updates of where you are and share your location. Have a rough outline of the day thought out, so multiple people are aware of where you should be! Be aware of your surroundings at all times and don’t go somewhere that makes you question your safety.
Yes Theory Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/yestheory
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